What If You Are Being Stalked: What to do?

If you approach somebody on the street and ask them if they know what stalking or domestic violence is, chances are that person would give you the right definition. Unfortunately, most people only know what those terms mean; they don’t know what to do if they become a victim of stalking or domestic violence. Most people say that “it can never happen to me.” Like my previous articles stated, anybody can become a victim, but tragically, most of these victims do not know how to handle these situations; often times producing dangerous encounters with their stalker. This article will address what you as a stalking victim should do to keep yourself safe and to decrease the chances of your stalking turning violent. These tips come directly from the End Stalking in America (ESIA) website.
Keep in mind that stalkers would do anything in their power to have you all to themselves. This is what makes them so dangerous. They might follow their victims in public, hire private investigators, follow their victim to work, and follow the victim to their home. This next statement might sound crazy when the stalker is following you everywhere, but the most important thing any stalking victim can do is to have no contact with the stalker (ESIA). If the victim or the victim’s friends tries to reason with the stalker, the stalker recognizes that you are paying attention to him or her. If the victim ignores the stalker, the stalker is not getting the attention he or she wants; thus, the stalker would become bored with you and move onto other people.
Stalking incidents can occur anywhere. Some tips you can follow while living at home include informing your family, friends, and neighbors about your stalker (ESIA). End Stalking in America suggests that you should give each group a detailed description of your stalker (even a picture if available), a description of your stalker’s vehicle complete with license plate number, and a copy of a restaining order if available (ESIA). The reason why you should do this is because you are only one person. If you have other people whom you know watching your house, the chances are greater that somebody would see your stalker on or near your property, and be able to call the police.
Another important element you should consider is changing your routine (ESIA). Whenever I go to work or to the store, I always take the same route to these destinations. If you are being stalked, that is bad news. If the stalker knows you well, and chances are he or she does, then the stalker also knows your routes to certain destinations. You are more likely to encounter your stalker following you if you don’t change your route. In order to be safe, find alternative routes to your destinations. Know where your police, fire department, and 24-hour convenience stores are in your neighborhood. If you are followed by your stalker, you can always go to these safe places to seek further assistance (ESIA).
Finally, obtain a restraining order. There have been some criticisms about these pieces of paper (and I myself find them more of a danger), but they are useful in a way (ESIA). Restraining orders are nothing more than a piece of paper that details how far away a stalker should stay away from you. A copy of this order goes to you and to your stalker. Most of the times, when the stalker receives a restraining order in the mail, the stalker gets extremely angry with his or her victim. This might increase the chances of your stalking turning violent, but it also makes it easier for the police to arrest your stalker (ESIA). THINK LONG AND HARD BEFORE YOU OBTAIN A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOUR STALKER.
Other tips and suggestions that the End Stalking in America website offers victims include:
1.) Notifying your apartment manager that you are being stalked.
2.) If you do not know whose number is appearing on your caller ID or your cell phone, do not answer the phone; let the answering machine pick it up.
3.) If you are unsure as to who is knocking on your door, do not open it.
4.) If you have an electrical or a phone box outside your house, secure it with a lock.
5.) Keep an updated tab on all of your keys.
6.) Notify your local police department to perform a safety check on your home (if available).
7.) Park your car in your garage.
8.) Always check for suspicious activity whenever you leave home or arrive home.
9.) Keep a cell phone on you at all times.
10.)Password protect all your accounts with all your utilities.
11.)Shred anything that has your personal information on it, like bank account numbers, social security numbers, etc.

Your vehicle is also on of the many targets your stalker would use to get even with you. When you are driving your vehicle, even if it is for a short distance, be sure to lock all of your doors. If you are parking your vehicle somewhere, even if it is for a short time, lock all of your doors. You never know if and when your stalker would try to get inside your car to damage it or you (ESIA).
While in your vehicle, always have a cell phone available. Use the cell phone to call police if you are being followed, or to call for a tow truck if your vehicle breaks down (ESIA). The cell phone is your lifeline, so be sure it is fully charged before you leave your home.
Another helpful tip to consider is never have less than a half tank of gas in your car (ESIA). If you are being followed by someone, or if you want to escape from your stalker in your car, it won’t help you any if you have no gas in your tank.
Other helpful tips from the ESIA website to consider with your vehicle:
1.) Change your route.
2.) Always know where your local police department, fire department, and all night convienence stores are. You never know when you might need to go their if you are being followed.
3.) Be alert at all times by checking your rear view mirrors to make sure you are not being followed by someone.
4.) Try not to travel alone and try to stay in public places.
5.) If you have any papers in your vehicle that has person information on them, turn them face down or place them in your glove compartment, so nobody outside your vehicle could see this information.
6.) If you are leaving or entering your vehicle always have your keys in your hand.

All of the information on the End Stalking in America website is very useful and I urge you to take a look at the website for more valuable information. The information from this article was taken from that website. The website for the End Stalking in America is www.esia.net.

Here is the schedule (which could change without notice) for the weeks to come:

November 6, 2006: Rehabilitation programs for victims
November 20, 2006: Rehabilitation programs for stalkers: are there any?
December 4, 2006: How stalking affects your neighbors, family, and friends.

These stores that are told on this blog are true. The names have been changed to protect the true identities of those individuals involved. If you would like to respond to this blog entry, please click on the envelope next to comments underneath this article. On the screen that appears, enter your name and your email address. Under "friend's email address" enter Senorgetman@yahoo.com. I will only accept emails under this fashion. DISCLAIMOR: THIS WEBSITE BY NO MEANS OFFER LEGAL ADVICE TO VICTIMS OF STALKING AND DOMESTIC ABUSE. IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY A VICTIM OF STALKING AND/OR DOMESTIC ABUSE, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY IMMEDIATELY.